Adventure in Cairns, Queensland, Australia

I arrived in Cairns on the morning of November 2nd to an overcast but still very warm day. I took the airport shuttle to the Bellview hostel on the Eslapande, where I proceeded to book all activities planned for my five days here. Slouched behind the front desk was the grumpiest old man I have ever met; his abrasive tone was so over-the-top it almost seemed like an act. I couldn’t understand why he would want to work at a youth hostel, of all places. It was entertaining to watch him attempt to deal with other customers and companies over the phone, as his phone manner was hardly the greatest. After he took me on a tour of the run-down hostel, I decided to stay at the YHA hostel, located five blocks off of the beach. The YHA hostels are all well taken care of and very welcoming to their guests.

After checking in I began to explore Cairns, a busy beach town that offers a wide variety of shops and restaurants. I took a break to attend a very restorative yoga class taught by a young Italian woman who guided us through a beginner’s lesson.

My day on November 3rd started just before 8 a.m., when bus driver Captain Matty picked me up. Stepping onto the bus to join my nineteen fellow passengers, I was immediately greeted with a bear hug by the driver himself. Captain Matty is a thirty-two year old New Zealander who has been running barefoot waterfall tours for the past couple of years. He is one of the liveliest and most endearing people I have ever met. The tour revolves around five waterfalls located throughout the Atherton Tablelands. We quickly passed the one-hour drive to our first waterfall by getting to know each other through the five questions launched at us by Captain Matty:

Name?

Nationality?

Date of departure from Cairns?

Marital status (options given: married; single; boyfriend; girlfriend; gay/lesbian/bisexual; just looking for a good shag)?

How do you wipe with toilet paper (options given: fold; scrunch; wrap)?

Needless to say, these questions made for some very interesting conversation and definitely broke the ice amongst the various Canadian, American, Swedish, Belgian, Slovenian and English travelers on board. I seem to encounter a mini United Nations wherever I go. Listening to people describe how and why they fold toilet paper a certain way, had the bus erupting in fits of laughter. Some people even went into detail saying that it varied based on what they ate.

Captain Matty about to throw one of the Swedish girls into the lake.

We spent our day swimming beneath beautiful waterfalls including Millaa Millaa Falls, which is, incidentally, the same waterfall a model made orgasmic noises under in that provocative Herbal Essences commercial. We returned from our trip tired but happy by 7:30 p.m.This waterfall tour should definitely be experienced by anyone who has the opportunity to visit Cairns.

Milla Milla Falls

November 4, 2011:

The bus arrived at 6:50 a.m. to pick me up for a day of scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef. The boat departed from Port Douglas for a ninety-minute drive along a beach highway offering amazing scenery. On the boat I sat with a middle-aged man from France and a girl close to my own age from Luxembourg. Making small talk is so easy when it seems that everything fellow travelers has to say teaches me so much.

I had no idea Luxembourg is the last sovereign grand duchy, nor did I know that it is a trilingual country (Luxembourgish, German, and French).

We stopped at three dive sites and they were all spectacular. I had the privilege of spotting four baby sharks, one loggerhead turtle, and several clown fish hovering around an anemone. The reef is over 1,250 miles long and extends all the way to Papa New Guinea. It is home to over 1,800 species of fish, 125 varieties of sharks, and 5,000 types of mollusks. Nearly two million people visit the Reef each year. Unfortunately, because climate change is gradually raising the temperature of the ocean, the Reef is dying off at an alarming rate. Some predict that it will be incapable of harbouring any type of life by as early as 2050.

I definitely feel fortunate to have seen this amazing wonder of the natural world, which is easily the most astounding display of diversity in an ecosystem that I have ever witnessed.

Two Clown fish in their protective anemone home

So many busy schools

Loggerhead Turtle

Almost every color you could imagine

November 5, 2011:

A bus picked me up at 6:40 a.m., this time for a day of whitewater rafting on the Tully River. I’ve wanted to try whitewater rafting for years, so my excitement only grew as the two-hour drive slowly passed by. Upon arrival, we were split into groups and fitted with life jackets and helmets. A guy with a very dry sense of humour and the distinct smell of booze on his breath and body led my extremely entertaining group, which included a nurse, a honeymooning couple from England and a lesbian couple from Queensland. The guide quickly gauged our sensitivity level, and, upon realizing he could remove his filter, let loose his funny but definitely politically incorrect brand of humour.

Heading backwards down the rapids definitely adds a new level of intensity

Rapids are graded on levels between one and six; the Tully contains grades three and four rapids. The river has claimed six lives since the rafting company first opened for business, but the guide neglected to share this fact with us until the day was over. Sitting at the front of the boat, I embarked on what was the most exhilarating and nerve-racking experience of my life. There were ten other boats on the river that day, so I had lots of entertainment watching countless people scramble as their boats flipped (none drowned!). One of those boats included my own, but I had fun floating down the river, at least after realizing I was okay. In total we had five hours of paddling; afterwards, we stopped for food and drinks at a pub on our return trip to Cairns. I’m already planning my next rafting trip!

November 6, 2011:

I got on a bus at 8 a.m. and headed off to skydive. Believe it or not, skydiving is much safer than whitewater rafting! The bus was fully loaded, including three young couples from Japan, a father-son duo from England(in addition to three young Brits who were still half-cut), two Australians, and one Scottish traveler. When we arrived at the base we were divided into three groups. I was in the third group, which meant I got to watch the first two groups fall from the sky as I wondered what it must feel like to actually jump. Needless to say, it was nice to see all of them safely land.

Flying over the coast of Northern Queensland

When my turn to gear up finally came, my adrenaline and excitement immediately kicked in. I was paired with a young Japanese instructor, who was a really cool guy. We jumped out of the plane at 14,000 feet and free-fell for sixty seconds before opening our shutes. There are no words for me to describe the feeling of free-fall other than the ubiquitous statement that it took my breath away. Really, it was actually hard to breathe! Surrounded by blue sky and clouds, I felt like I was floating for quite a long time during free-fall, with the approaching ground so distant that it was almost hard to believe I would ever reach it. I was able to control the handles, which had surprisingly sensitive control, for a bit as we flew toward our landing zone on the beach. But landing on solid ground was the most comforting feeling. It’s not hard to understand how this kind of adrenaline rush could become addictive; there’s just no way that falling from the sky can ever become boring.

Gliding down to the beach